so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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