wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
