there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
