So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
