I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize