Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
