i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
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So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
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My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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