I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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