I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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