Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
