Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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