how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize