if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
