that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
