hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
