i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
