I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
