Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
