remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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