Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
