quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How naked do you want me to be?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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