Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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