is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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