Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
ok first of all what the fuck
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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