I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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