he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
