I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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