Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.