Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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