Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?