Just mADE A PArabola og urine
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.