EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.