Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize