you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
