u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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