He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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