Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize