Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize