in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
this beer tastes like vomit already
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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