I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
the raccoons are back...
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