yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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