Do you still have your period?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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