either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
40s are totally the cure
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
