Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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