I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
