this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
