Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
