We're facebook friends in real life
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize