Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
