he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
They took my balls.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
