I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
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