My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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