bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So much rum. So many feels.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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