I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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