He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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