Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
