would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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