What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
