The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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