I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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