She's JV to your varsity
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
