Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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