More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
