What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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