woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
we're so committed to being not committed
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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