I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
