I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
