the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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