It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
