the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
