I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
